You told me you’d follow
You adored me, you assured
Struck you like lightning
But your words were mere hollow
Skeletons left in the dirt
At the first sighting
Of posterity
Tag: infertility
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hollow posterity.
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Distant hunter.
You say you meant your words
The ones you used to string
Me along in a fantasy
Called my call outs absurd
Promised I’m still your darling
All while planning your leave
Growing the gap
Wider than the miles
Insisted it was just my anxiety
Set my heart in a trap
Coaxing me along with a smile
Quietly left me alone to bleed
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Deadwood
What a strange thing it is
To be discarded on account
Of my ovaries
Uterus willing to surrender
Unquantifiable amounts
Of self-sacrifice and splendor
Lusting for my beauty
Impatient for more
Easily relinquish your duty
To hold my hand through it all
Simply because my biology
Won’t continue your family tree
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A thin line
I’m waiting on a thin line
for an outcome I secretly dreamed;
perhaps this is the time
it finally happens to me?But as I sit and stare ahead
at a patterned grey-washed wall,
I remember all the times I’ve bled
from begging, pleading this lonely call.Once positive that this test
was surely different-
NO, unlike the rest-
to be, it’s finally meant…But, as the seconds drag along,
I feel it from within;
outlandish wishes don’t belong
in a body so barren-Oh look, it says not pregnant!
childless, cnbc, dating, grief, infertility, life, love, mental-health, poetry, ptsd, relationships, trauma, writing
Parker Stillwater 