What a strange thing it is
To be discarded on account
Of my ovaries
Uterus willing to surrender
Unquantifiable amounts
Of self-sacrifice and splendor
Lusting for my beauty
Impatient for more
Easily relinquish your duty
To hold my hand through it all
Simply because my biology
Won’t continue your family tree
Tag: break up
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Deadwood
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Just a passing thought
I think we should break up
Not because I don’t love you
I do
I just know you don’t love me
The way I want you to
I know we need different things
Than the other one gives
I want you to be
The one I come home to
But it’s become quickly apparent
You’re set in your ways
Independent and often off alone
Forgetful of the girlfriend
You say you’re proud to have in your life
But I’m too far away to be more
Than just a passing thought
And I’d rather be nothing
Than less than all the reels you consume
I’ll miss you
But I already do
So I guess the real hard part
Is letting us fall apart
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Delayed reaction
I think this is where I leave you
But is it really me doing the leaving
When you’re nowhere in sight?
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Slack
This stopped working for me
when you stopped trying…
I could stay and hold out
hope my intuition is lying;but the realization I had
the other night all alone
was that if in my body it feels bad,
then I know all I need to know.In the past it was habit
to seek answers and reason,
trust you when you insist
that it’s a misguided feeling;but trust is all I have left when
young love dies and disintegrates;
can’t ignore the change in the wind
or against better judgment waitfor things to feel better,
now in this distant cadence;
vertigo from the teeter
that shakes me in your long silence.Since I’m know for wearing my tender
heart hopelessly on my sleeve,
I need all the reminders
I give to you unconditionally.I don’t think it’s a lot to ask
to hear from you at the intervals.
Why would you choose to mask
when love’s willing to catch your fall?It feels dumb when I tell friends
about how unhappy I am.
Worse, between us the trend
to in different places land,yet somehow walk away
thinking everything is okay.
It feels real illogical in my brain
the way you’re so good to reframemy intuitive knowing that
there’s something you’re hiding.
It feels more and more like a trap,
like you’re waiting for better timingthan leaving me now in this moment
when I seem so distressed and distraught.
It’s not my will or intent
to make you feel like you’re notallowed to walk away for even reasons like
you changed your mind about the meaning
of where cupid chose to strike
his arrow that now is appearingto fall out of your chest.
I get it, you didn’t know I was trans
when you first gave me that yes,
until morning we dancedon that first long and tender night.
But, I’m afraid my big fear
has turned out to be right;
it would hurt less if you’d be clearthat you can’t love me back,
because I’m not what you thought.
Cut yourself all the slack;
no one here is at fault.I’ve grown real used to this
Being the one no one ends up with.
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Cool cool cool
I’m not done telling you off
You let yourself off pretty soft
Leaning left in a long, flowy skirt
Masking your pervert-
Edamame, be cool cool cool!
I may sound dumb but I’m no fool
This is to be continued…
Parker Stillwater 